Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Life.

I'm a person who wants to do so much, but doesn't know how too go about it.
There's so many things to say, but I don't know how to say them. 
So many things to believe,that I want to believe, but I struggle with believing them.
There are so many stumbling stones in the path, I slow to a crawl to try to miss them, but I fall anyhow.
Tears I want to shed, but it's never the right time to cry.
Words I want to live by, I often forget them.
Songs I want to sing, but choke up when I try.
There are stages I want to stand on, but I get overwhelmed by stage fright.
So many jokes to tell, to shy to tell them.
So many people I want to meet, but I don't know how to talk.
Stories I want to write, some never get finished.
I want to laugh, but it's to serious a time.
I want to yell and play like a kid, but I'm to big for that.
Places to see, I can't afford to go.
Pictures I want to take, I always miss the best moment to capture.
There are things I want to make, but I don't have the right materials.
Time I want to spend alone, I'm always needed for something.
Time I want to spend with others, they're to busy that day.
I want to be secure and happy, but insecurity and worry often take over.
I want to feel safe, but I feel in danger.
Words I've said that I regret, I'm to ashamed to ask forgiveness.
Mistakes I've made, I'm forgiving but I can't forget.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Weirdness in my life today.

I'm not kid of when I say I'm witnessing the weirdest thing in the world.

So, the people who are renting our pasture brought up 2 female lamas a couple days ago and this morning they brought three male alpacas.
I haven't made friends with the lamas because they are super aggressive and they spit at you. It's gross:-/
Well, we put the three alpacas in the pasture and pulled off their leashes and they raced to the lamas and started chasing them!
So, they put their front legs on the lamas and just chased/followed them trying to gain dominance. 
The lamas are spitting and the poor things are exhausted...
It's really weird.

Oh! They also brought up a beautiful Mustang/Pinto horse! She's so pretty and strong! Her name is Cinders:) I'll do my best to get you a picture of her! 
Right now, I'd rather not due to all the chaos:-/ the poor horse is scared out of her mind because its a new home and there are crazy looking long necked beasts going bananas.
Later gators!
Maddie

Monday, July 1, 2013

head in the stars

i'm just a girl, her head in the stars waiting, hoping, dreaming. 
shoot for the moon and if you miss you land among the stars.
those in history did the same, they each had a dream to fulfill.
some athletes have a dream to fly or run or swim. 
some artists dream to be the next Picasso or Van Gogh.
i have a dream to travel and sing and write.
whats the difference between them and i?
a different time, subject, place, era divides us 
but we are all human, equal and precious.
i'm learning and believing, praying and laughing.
i'm just a girl with her head in the clouds hoping, waiting, dreaming.

Animals:)

Hey everyone!

So first off I just want thank you for all your prayer for our calf. it really means a lot:) unfortunately, our little calf passed away Saturday night:'( we ended up figuring out what was the matter and doing an emergency operation in the middle of the night... she did okay while we were taking care of her but she was gone in the morning:(

but i promised you guys pictures of the animals so here they are:D

this is Nanny, the milk goat.

this is T Bone, who was sold at action a few days ago.

this was Piper, the one who died:( she was a beautiful little heifer!

these are two of the pigs:) 

this is a pig too but hes like a Kune-Kune or something... he's like a tank! 

these are the sheep. Mary and her little Lamb ;) 

this is Charlie and the little white one is Bunk. he wouldn't let me get a good picture of him:-/

this is Oreo! he's brand new! like seriously he's like 3 days old. he's so soft and silky!

this is Bambi:) i love him<3 he's so gentle and calm! he's 4 days old.

I love both of the calves, but Oreo is so rough and energetic... They're both cute ADORABLE though:)
Saturday night these two were brought to our house and put in a pen along with poor sick Piper. when we were doing the operation Bambi kept getting in the way and was trying to eat us, so it was my job to keep him busy. I fed him and he kept sucking on my hands, fingers, shirt ans pants. i was covered with slobber! it was so gross xD
today while i was watching Oreo finish eating he chased me out the pen door! he was trying to suck on my favorite pair of shorts. NOT GONNA HAPPEN! lol:)
We also have chickens and some ducks but I didn't get any good pictures of them.

so what are all of you going to do for 4th of July? hope you're going to have a good time:D

GOOGLE FRIEND CONNECT IS STILL HERE! hopefully it doesn't leave. but hey just to be safe, i recommend getting Bloglovin! i like it way better than google reader:)

later my awesome followers!
Maddie

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

my CRAZYYY posting skills are going to show real bad. Sorrryyyy! ;-D

Howdy!

So first off I'm going to ask you guys something.

There's a girl I met through Google+ and we've developed a nice friendship. She's really sweet and loving. 
She's 13, she lives in Spain, she's a single child and she's being bullied.
She's being bullied by a gang of guys every single day.
All of these jerks are 15-17 and they're making her do their school and if she gets bad scores on their homework they beat her as punishment.
Her 'punishments' have been getting worse. These boys have broken her arm, leg and sprained her wrist because they beat her and they push her around. They say really inappropriate things to her and threaten to really turn her life into a nightmare. one of the bullies came to her house said he was a friend so the mom let him in. He went into her room and tried to hurt her in her own house
Two days ago the leader of the gang hid outside and waited for her to come out. When she did he called her phone and told her to turn around. Lo and behold, there he stood. He acted really bad and said some really bad things. He was going to hurt her, but she stopped him with Judo. While she was running away he screamed that he would make her pay.
She tried to kill herself that night. Some other girl and I, along with her best friend, talked her out of it. 
For the time present she's safe. Her best friend is a guy and they are like brother and sister. He told her that he'd keep her safe while he was there (his family moved away so he didn't go to the same school anymore.).
Today they had a beach party for the whole high school and the gang of boys carried her away from the group and abused her. She don't cry out or beg them to stop she only tried to get away from them.
The leader watched as she was getting beat by one of the boys and got mad at her for not begging and started beating her harder.
The leader came to her house afterwards and talked to her mom. He told the mom how he "loved her and would like to be her boyfriend if the parents gave their blessing" acting all sweet. The mom had no idea who the guy was and what he does to her daughter.
The girl sneaked out and went to her best girl friends house and hid. 
Tomorrow is thankfully the last day of school. But those boys know where she lives and they still can hurt her really bad.
She also gets really REALLY bad nightmares every night:(
This girl isn't saved and doesn't believe in God.
Please pray for her! It would mean a lot to me and it'll really help her. The police and her parents have done as much as they could to help her, but it hasn't been enough.


On a better note:
My family gets to take care of animals! There's a family who have a bunch of animals but I think they're moving so they can't keep them at their house so we are letting them use our property in exchange of a WHOLE beef cow! 
I don't know how many animals we're gonna looking at but I know there's cow, pigs, chickens, goats and sheep!
I'll get pictures and show ya when they get here:D

The family seems nice enough. There's the mom and dad who are neat and two kids.
There's a boy and girl. The boys name is Jeffrey and he's 15 (almost 16) and he has Down-syndrome. He's really neat! He also has a really good "evil laugh". He goes to high school so he was really comfortable with talking with Moi. It was odd for me because I'm not used to being around people my age, but I got over that pretty quick:) but yeah I thought he was awesome.
The girls name is Katie and she's 14. She's homeschooled and she's in 4H doing archery. She's was a lot of fun too:) and- oops gotta go.

K I'm back now! They just left:) they brought some if the animals up:D
There's T-Bone the baby boy cow:), Nanny the milk goat, a ewe named Mary and her little lamb! 
I'll get pictures up next week! By then we'll have the rams, pigs and chickens and possibly another cow. Wait- we're gonna have more sheep too.
What's really cool is that they're like pets! The cow is like a gigantic puppy:) the animals like kids so we can go hang out with them too... Haha fun:D


School is a nightmare! We don't end until July because we start school really late and get lots of time off. And I really suck at math >_<


Have I told you that I've got a job? No? 
Weeelll, we've got this neighbor see.. And he's a widower for the last four years. And he's really old. He's in his late 70's. Sooo my sister Allison and I go clean his house every Wednesday.  It's nice because we get to help him out:) yes we get paid, but we aren't doing it for the money.


I've been trying to read "Out of the Silent Planet" by C. S. Lewis. Either I'm losing my focus, or it's seriously the hardest book in the world to read. 
It's confuzzeling:-/ it's never been this hard for me to read a book.


Have any of you read/listened-to the Redwall Series by Brian Jacques? 
I LOVE THOSE BOOKS. 
The only problem I have with them is that every time I fall in love with a specific character- they die. 
Every. Single. Time. So many tears. And I'm not kidding. I'm a very emotional reader and I cried rivers over them. 
Unfortunately I'm doomed to that fate. :'( my favorite character died two nights ago and I'm still not over it:(
Whatever. I still LOVE the series!!!! The scariest one I've read (and it's scary in an animalistic point of view) is "Doomwyte". O.O the bad guys had just enough evil to make me shudder. But don't not read the boom because I said it was scary! It was a good scary.


I'm really loving my camera:D I took some really neat daisy pictures with it which you can see on my photography blog (link: photomads102.blogspot.com Sorry I'm writing on my iPod and the blogger app won't let me actually 'link' it:-/)!


I LOVE playing guitar!!!! Finger style is awesome and I don't ever get tired of it!!!!!
My mom was telling my if we could get my little brother playing Guitar we could get on Americas Got Talent and play a duet with us or me (yipes!!!! STAGEFRIGHT!!!!) singing and win. 
Me:"mom I can't sing! My voice isn't good!"
Mom: "you've got a really good voice!"
Me: "No I don't. I always hit sour (bad) notes! And my voice cracks if I go to high and I can't sing low."
Mom: "that's just lack of voice training."
Secretly, I would love to be a singer. But I don't think I'm good enough:( someday I'd love to go out on stage and sing. But I've got super bad stage fright O_O

I decided to take a break from a novel I was writing, because I had writers block and I couldn't think of anything (ugh hate that feeling), and I need to rewrite it now:-/ it's okay, but I've done better and I'd feel guilty if I didn't put all my best effort into it. Get what I mean?


I'm at a really odd stage where if I see a picture that I really like then it HAS TO HAVE A STORY (Storyteller you witnessed this ;)).
I'm going to try to post about those along with the pictures that make me do that. I'm not making any promises that they'll be really fantastic stories, but I hope they'll be okay:)


Whaleeee, I think this post has been really long and should probably stop before your poor mind gets so crowded it explodes. 

Love ya all! And thanks for sticking with me through my lack of posting:) 

Yours,
mAdDiE (sorry I just thought my name looked lame normal. I'm also in an oddly restless mood. If I was talking to you about all of this face to face I'd be hopping around and acting like a weirdo... I'm just feeling.... RaNdOm!!!!)

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Surprise!!! I'm finally posting;-D

Hey guys! 

So I've been feeling bad about neglecting you:-|... I'm super super sorry! I've just been having 'bloggers block'.

My life has been crazy so I'm both physically and emotionally exhausted. And on top of that I've found out that I've got allergies. Not fun. 
Headaches, coughing, not sleeping well, itchy eyes, slight breathing difficulty and all that other fun stuff. Yippee.
The worst headache I've had so far was last night. It was excruciating:( it almost make me puke.... Ugh. 

I can't wait to be done with school! Learning is fun, but I'm ready to relax and hangout:)

Sooooo, we redid my bedroom! I share my room with my sister Allison and we used to have bunk beds and a really ugly old carpet.
Not any more:D we took everything out of the room and ripped the carpet out and replaced it with hard flooring. The bunk beds have been replaced with twin beds with drawers in the bottom for extra storage and we put shelving up:) it's pretty awesome:)

You know you're a homeschooler when... You decide to teach yourself a new language over the summer! 
I found an app for my iPod to help teach me German:D it's actually really close to most English! It's been really fun so far. But then again I am only in the first week:P when I'm done with German I'm going to learn French so I can speak it with my cousin Perry:) fun;D

Love you guys! Hope you've been doing good and are enjoying your lives!

Maddie

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

A love letter from God~

My Child...


You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalms 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up.  Psalms 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31

For you are made in my image. Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being. Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring.  Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you where conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. Psalms 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalms 139:14

I knit you together in your mothers womb. Psalms 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalms 71:6 

I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. 1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. 1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father. Matthew 5:48

Every good gift you receive comes from my hand. James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3

My thought towards you are countless as the sand on the seashore. Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalms 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalms 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelations 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. Revelations 21:3-4

I am your father, and love you even as I love my son, Jesus. John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. 1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. 1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven had ever seen. Luke 15:7

I have always been Father and will always be Father. Ephesians 3:14-15

My question for you is... Will you be my child? John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32


Love, Your Father

Almighty God


*Words paraphrased from the Holy Bible. FathersLoveLetter.com


Maddie